


Love Pain

by foxjar



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Comedy, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Kitagawa Yusuke & Takamaki Ann, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-06-27 14:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19793230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxjar/pseuds/foxjar
Summary: Yusuke struggles to find a word for the tightness in his chest.





	Love Pain

The pain starts in Yusuke's chest, twisting and gnawing its way to his stomach. He hasn't been able to sleep for more than an hour at a time, or do much of anything, for almost a week now. The first day was agonizing — left alone, all he could manage to do was twist and turn on his futon. As the days pass, though, the hopelessness starts to set in; the idea that this might not ever end.

He wants to see Akira. Hear his voice, his laugh — if he could do that, maybe he'd feel better. But he's fallen victim to the sameness, as he craves his constant presence. Yusuke's never felt like this before, and it makes his head swim. The thought that there might be a day when Akira is no longer around — to smile at him, to validate his worries and passions — terrifies him.

At some point in his life, loss stopped hurting. Sometimes people at school will talk to him, curious to start up a conversation based on his artwork, but their interest always peters out before long. Then he's back to having more time to paint and create; more focus. Sometimes he misses their voices, but it's not a lingering pain. He can live without them.

Living without Akira isn't something he ever wants to do. When he's not with him, he's thinking about him; checking his phone over and over, as if it'll suddenly light up with a text if he keeps looking.

It rarely does. He knows Akira's busy with school, and all the jobs he manages to juggle, but it still stings.

He wants to know how he's doing, and that, maybe, he's thinking of Yusuke sometimes, too.

His life has become a listless mess, and he yearns for what it used to be. Not when he was oblivious under Madarame's tutelage, but before this pain set in.

When he sleeps, he sweats, waking up to it pooling on the sheets. There's some humor in this, he thinks; at only having slept for half an hour, and yet he's perspired this much. It doesn't surprise him anymore, but he always wakes up with that pain in his stomach — twisting in knots — and he wonders when it will end.

If it'll ever end.

Painting Akira doesn't help, nor does any other artistic form of expression he's used before. There's no relief, no hope; only days he sees or hears from Akira, and those he does not.

He doesn't have a word for it just yet. It's in the back of his throat, begging to come out, but it's not ready yet; it's too soon.

His dreams consist entirely of Akira. He's always there, smiling at him, but if he knew what is in Yusuke's heart, maybe he wouldn't be grinning like that.

Maybe he'd be sad. Maybe he'd be angry.

Or hurt. Betrayed.

Within Yusuke is a cocktail of emotion, and yet, despite it all, he just wants to see him.

_Akira._

* * *

When Yusuke arrives at Leblanc, the only people in the cafe are Sojiro and Ann. He slinks into the booth with Ann, who's playing with her phone as he sits down.

"Yusuke!" She drops her phone, and it clangs on the table. "Where have you been?"

"Apologies. You did get my text, though, I presume?"

"You 'presume?'" Ann's voice is shaky with irritation. "We never heard from you after you said you weren't feeling well in the group chat."

"So you got my text, then."

She gawks at him in disbelief before her eyes soften. "You made him worry, you know."

 _Akira._ Just the thought has Yusuke's heart racing; that Akira might be yearning to see him, too.

"I turned my phone off," Yusuke explains. When Ann asks why, he isn't sure what to say; how to put it into words that, at some point, seeing his phone bereft of notifications from their beloved leader became too much for him. He wanted a joke, an update, an order. Anything.

At some point, the silence overwhelmed him; more shrill than a scream.

"There's a tightness in my chest," he admits, one hand reaching up to clutch at his shirt, pulling the fabric taut. "It's an agony that never seems to cease, and it troubles me greatly."

He tells her of his woes: his inability to sleep, the sweating, the raw desire he feels. At first, he's so invested in his venting that he doesn't see the way her face changes; how her eyes widen and her lips twist into a knowing smirk.

She giggles. He's mid-sentence, pouring his heart out to her, and she has the audacity to laugh at him.

"Do you find my torment amusing, then?" he asks.

"Not really. It's just so cute. You should see the look on your face."

He wonders what his face is like right now; what sort of emotion is showing through for Ann to see. But then she says something that, somehow, helps to ease the pain in his chest.

"You're in love with him, aren't you?"

Silence sets in again, but it's not pained this time. He's thinking; trying to fit the word with the sensations tingling in his chest.

"Yes." Yusuke nods. "I suppose I am."

Although more of a recommendation than outright coaxing, it's her idea for him to tell Akira about his feelings.

"If I tell him, will this accursed pain stop?"

"Maybe? I don't know —"

"Then I will confess."

He stands, pacing the length of the cafe in his wait for Akira to return.

"Wait, you mean now?" Ann shakes her head in confusion. "Wouldn't you want it to be a little more, I dunno, romantic?"

 _What better time than the present?_ he thinks. He has no first-hand experience with romance, anyways; only what he's read in books, seen in movies, and felt through art.

This pain isn't just his, he realizes. It's something he wishes to share — not in a sadistic way, but with love. He wants Akira to hear how his heart pounds when he smiles; to feel the way his stomach clenches when he leaves; to share in his longing.

He's so sure of himself — until he hears the chime as someone enters the cafe. His body becomes stiff, his limbs unwilling to move. He's almost sure another strange illness is afflicting him, and he's about to call out for Ann's help.

But then he hears his voice; melodious and so in tune with his heart that his eyes water, after not hearing it for what feels like an eternity.

"Yusuke?"

His body is stone when Akira touches his shoulder. He wants so badly to sink into his arms — to never have to live a moment without them — but his body is still.

Frozen.

"Are you alright?" Akira asks, his hand squeezing his shoulder as if to remind him he's still there. He hasn't left.

Yusuke's heart is beating so wildly in his chest. He can't recall what it is he was supposed to do, but it involved Akira.

 _Was I supposed to tell him something?_ His hands are clammy and his face is on fire. _But what was it?_

"Oh, for the love of — just kiss him. Please."

It's Ann. He's surprised he can hear her over the sound of his galloping heartbeat.

_Wait. Kiss?_

"Is that what you want?" Akira asks, voice low as he brushes his lips against the nape of his neck.

He nods, then murmurs a resounding "yes."

Akira kisses his neck, his lips touching just below Yusuke's ear. It sends such a pleasurable jolt through him that he moans, and he can hear Sojiro chastising them to take it upstairs, but it's such a faraway sound.

When Akira steps back, he pulls one of Yusuke's hands into his own. "Too much?"

Yusuke shakes his head, struggling to swallow before he responds. "Never."

"We can take it slow, yeah?" Akira helps ease him back into the booth, his rock finally shattered. "As slow as you need."

Ann smiles at them; that warm, understanding grin of hers.

It took a while for Yusuke to understand exactly what it is that his heart desires — too long — but they're here together now, hands twined. It's such a simple touch, and yet it sends his mind reeling. Although the tightness is still fluttering in his stomach, unwinding itself over and over, he finds it welcoming when Akira is touching him.

He welcomes the love.


End file.
